It’s My Anniversary…Endometriosis

September 7, 2017

You know it’s weird. A year ago, I had my first procedure, a laparoscopy. Following this procedure, I found out that I have endometriosis and that I had a cyst that was growing too large so it had to be removed.

This time last year I just knew that I’d look back on this (a year from then, now) and laugh about how terrible times were. About how far I’d come and about how strong I had been. Now, don’t get me wrong… I definitely think I’ve grown as a result of my surgery and it has opened my eyes in ways that I’d never even imagine BUT… life was a complete roller coaster following my procedure. So much so that I wondered if not having the procedure would’ve been better than having it. I tried to blame everything that happened following my surgery on my surgery, SMH! I didn’t know what else to blame it on and I was certain that I wasn’t supposed to be dealt the cards I had.

As I think about it that is so ridiculous. Now, of course, I wish I didn’t have to have that procedure or any of the ones following it (not endo related) but I did. And in each season, I learn so much about myself. I have been stretched beyond what I believe are my limits only to realize that I don’t truly know nor understand what my limits actually are. I had half of the mind to be really upset that it’s a year later and I’m still going through non-sense health wise and believe me when I tell you I’ve had some terrible thoughts as a result. But somehow as I share this story I’m reminded of how bad things were for me this time last year and how helpless I’ve felt and then I compare it to how powerful I’ve felt between now and then and I’m certain that the struggles that I am facing now are only temporary.

I am able to rejoice in knowing that this storm literally doesn’t and won’t last always. I was stretched in some of the very same ways that I am being stretched in right now and shortly after my first procedure I gave birth to things I’ve wanted to accomplish my entire life so I truly cannot imagine what is on the other side of this storm. Storms don’t last always, Sis.

Signed,

A girl consistently trying to figure it out

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

-Vivian Greene