Growing Pains
Has anyone else been experiencing growing pains lately? Since about February I’ve been dealing with horrible pains in my stomach but I have endometriosis so I just assumed that it was nothing and that the pain was associated with extra scar tissue or who knows what. It was weird though, over the last few months it gradually got worse to the point where I didn’t want to commit to events, didn’t want to make plans with people, didn’t want to do anything really but lay in bed under a heating pad and sleep! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON! After many scheduled and canceled doctors’ appointments, I finally decided to follow through and go get checked up. I learned that what I was experiencing was not related to my endometriosis at all and that I needed to see a GI specialist regarding my issues.
Tuh, I had a rough time visiting your office and you mean to tell me I have to go to another office and pay more money? Ehhhh… She made it sound pretty urgent so I sucked it up and went in for a visit with the specialist. During my very first visit she scheduled a procedure, two weeks later I find out that I have a ton of bleeding ulcers one week later I find out that I have Crohn’s Disease. Excuse me!? First of all, no thank you! Second, how the heck does anyone on earth get ulcers let alone Crohn’s.
Now I’m not going to lie…hearing this news MESSED ME UP! I was soooo sad. I thought things were awful when I found out about Endo, now you’re trying to tell me I have an autoimmune disease that I’ll “have forever”. Oh, and you want me to take chemotherapy medicine to get better?! No, sir. Taking that medicine was worse than having the disease itself! I was extremely sad and I experienced some really low times. Times where I didn’t even know what kind of life I could possibly live with endometriosis and Crohn’s Disease…can a 25-year-old who is barely getting their feet wet in their purpose really make it out of this? I stopped reading, got off social media and stopped watching Netflix like I literally didn’t want to be bothered with anything or anyone. It was bad!
Then one day I realized that the thought of not fulfilling my purpose literally WAS NOT an option and that this was just a little bump in the road leading me to greater. A true blessing because from this I believe a bit more of my purpose has been revealed to me and I’ve gained more drive, more ambition and realized that I literally cannot allow myself to settle in anything!! I have to stop living afraid and half way taking chances! Everything that we work for can literally be pulled away from us in the drop of a hat. I was working on my brand and building my non-profit. The fear of not succeeding in either of those scared me more than the disease itself and as a result, I make sure to go even harder with my vitamins and diet because I don’t want to experience that pain and discomfort as severe as it once was ever again!
Now that I’ve had a few good days in a row I want to capitalize on this time. So, I decided to face my fears, tell my story, and reveal my truths. Now 20+ pounds lighter I have struggled to accept my new look but I am feeling so much better and that’s what’s most important. That and getting back to business! What challenges have you faced lately? Do you ever feel like your dreams and/or goals are drifting further and further away? How do you cope? How do you fight back?
Struggles will come and we deserve time to grieve and feel the struggle but don’t grieve for too long or you’ll get stuck. Instead take a look at the struggle then compare it to the risk of not living out your purpose. Is it worth it?
White 3/4 sleeve off the shoulder shirt : H&M
Royal Blue and Mustard Linen Shorts : H&M
Black Bucket Purse: Steve Madden
Black Strappy Heels: Steve Madden (Slithur)