End of the Third Quarter

September 1, 2017

September 1, 2017! The first day of the last month of the third quarter… So many mixed emotions. Life doesn’t look anything like I’d imagined yet it seems I’m accomplishing everything I’d hoped for. Either my prayers need to be more specific or I’m being entirely too hard on myself.

Friendships are being tested, I’m coming to the end of recovery time from what was an extremely unexpected surgery. I feel really good yet I am paranoid that my Crohn’s will flare up despite my natural efforts to keep symptoms at bay. I truly struggle to accept the way my life currently looks, I’m so frustrated that I haven’t worked in weeks which means that money is not currently coming in. Yet, BILLS! Specifically, doctor bills are piling up higher than I’d ever imagined.

Now, the logical thing to do would be to take a step back and be grateful that I was at least able to pay for the portion of the procedure I needed to cover to have the procedure done. Meaning that I no longer have to deal with the issues not having it was causing me and could’ve grown into. That makes sense but for some reason, it’s been easier to focus on what I lack opposed to what I have. Which is so common for most of us.

I’ve truly been working to become a better version of myself and I realize that as positive as I think that I am and try to be to and for others, I still have A LOT of work to do! I am beyond thankful though because through this transition and learning this lesson I have experienced a lot, way more than I thought I could bear. And lucky for me I had someone by my side who despite everything knew how to smile during adversity, who would call me out when I was being negative and who has left a major mark on my life which I think will definitely aid in my growth.

You see, some situations are seasonal and they open your eyes and some relationships are also seasonal yet leave a lasting impact. People always ask me how am I so nice to people and why don’t I turn cold on a person once they exit my life, it’s simply because I know without them I wouldn’t have learned a valuable lesson. We must look for lessons in lost relationships and life. Historically, that is what has helped me to stay afloat and deal with everything that has been thrown my way. I’m not sure when I lost track of this but realizing it again is an awesome feeling. Now, I’m not saying I will never get down again or that I won’t ever lose sight of this lesson but I’m extremely thankful for the times when I do lose track I get a slight nudge of heartache and pain to remind me what’s most important and how to cope.

Surgery sucked, losing friends sucked, being a little tighter financially than I’d hope for right now sucks! However, I am doing well. I no longer have that health issue bothering me and I am praying and believing that it never comes back. And I trust that relationships will be restored or new ones formed. Welcome to life, welcome to adulthood. This crap is hard, it can suck, but it’s part of the journey and I’ll be in this phase until the end so better learn how to ride it out.

THIRD QUARTER GOAL RE-CAP

  1. Actively doing! I feel good. I’m smaller than ever and still losing but I feel healthy, and I’m doing my best to take care of myself.

  2. Refers to 2nd Quarter… YES!!!!

  3. I believe that is what is happening now  It took the full quarter almost to achieve this one.

  4. Also a work in progress. Very close. Believe I’ll have at least one other stream under my belt by the end of the month.

  5. Keep trying

  6. Journaling again!

  7. Actively doing. So far so good.

  8. YES!!

  9. Well…… Kind of.

  10. YES!

Things definitely look much better than I thought they would and that is an amazing feeling!